The first time I thought about killing myself I was 9, at that time they diagnosed a bleeding ulcer and severe migraines. Due to dissociation, in forth grade I had to re- learn many things because my 3rd grade yr had been so bad. Oddly I never had mental health help or diagnosis until I was 28 and finally gave in to the desire to die. I was diagnosis with PTSD, DID and MDD, later changed to BP II.