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Old May 06, 2014, 11:19 PM
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icinggurl icinggurl is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2012
Location: United States
Posts: 165
Quote:
Originally Posted by Halston View Post
I always get the "how are you?"s & the looks of concern if something agitates me, as any sort of anger is instantly interpreted as "bipolar rage", as opposed to honest, appropriate response. I know it's genuinely meant, but people don't realize how often they do it. And nothing seems to mess up a good day better than someone saying "you doing so much better"

The hardest part for me was dealing with the fact that every argument you've ever had, or anything that's gone wrong in your life is now solely your fault. Everyone gets a free pass when it comes to fault or complicity once you are diagnosed BP, because it was clearly your illness that was at fault. This took me a long time to accept, because, it's never going to change. Even if it's not spoken, every argument you have and any emotion you show will be your fault, from now on, which is not awesome.

Anyway, I feel for you. I wish I could say it will stop, but it seems to me that a diagnosis gives everyone permission to say anything they want, and if you have a problem with their advice/criticism, well, that's just your illness talking.
I hate those 'how are you?'s too. Makes me regret ever divulging any personal info to that person at all, which in turn causes me to shut down from others even more.

Sometimes I wish I could just move far away where no one knows anything about me. Maybe I wouldn't feel so scrutinized all the time, which can (of course) seem paranoid to some. Maybe we have a good reason to be a little paranoid........
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"I'm gonna kick the darkness, til it bleeds daylight" - U2

Schizoaffective disorder/mood disorder with psychotic features (depending on who you ask), OCD.

Seroquel 300mg a day and 25mg prn
Lamictal 400mg a day
Neurontin 1200mg a day
Zoloft 300mg a day
Cymbalta 60mg a day
Nuvigil 325mg a day
Ativan .5 prn
Prazosin (for nightmares) 4mg a day

Additional dx: cluster migraines, celiac, hypothyroid, anemia, gyno issues and the list goes on......