I feel like I dont know who I am anymore. I dont know if I love my fiance anymore. I feel like maybe im not ready to get married yet? But yet not long ago I thought thats what I wanted. Now im confused and lonely. I dont know what I want at all. I feel like I got lost on the way. I knew my depression was getting worse but now its worse then I expected. Im so tired of pretending im happy. I just want to give up so badly. I have so many emotions and yet I feel empty at the same time. I need to go to therapy but its so expensive! I dont know what to do anymore im completely lost. I feel like I just want to drink all the time because then maybe I won't have to feel this way. I know thats not a good solution but I feel like its all I got right now. I hate this so much. I hate having this dark part of me.