I've spent all of my both homosexual and heterosexual relationships focussing on pleasuring my partners, sometimes to my own detriment. My T has been telling me that some of my intimacy issues and performance issues have originated from trying too hard to please my partners without really ensuring I am satisfied. It has lead me to have performance/anxiety issues that have reduced our intimacy, which in itself has caused more issues.
I truly believe that partners have to be completely dedicated to each other and the pursuit of sexual satisfaction. We are both responsible for our own pleasure as well as that of our partner. It isn't right to tell your partner "you have to make me cum". It has to be a total team effort.