Hi DLR, firstly is there maybe a bit of flexibility in what you have to do to function. Sometimes we think I have to do x, I have to do y (sometimes to try to keep up an appearance, sometimes for others............) but just how hard would it be to "back out of" certain things?? And how big an effect would it really have if you minimised some of the things you think you should be doing?? If some things just weren't done??
If there are any practical things which have become your responsibility, could your wife, a friend, a family member help you out a bit more? It's not saying that you can't do some of those things, just that right now you might need a little more help with them or to just pass them on. There's only so much you can do while helping yourself too.
And if you need a bit more emotional support then, what's wrong with that? It sounds like your wife especially, wants to be there for you. And it's a partnership, right? So at times one or other of you is going to need a bit more support from the other, so now is maybe your time. So try not to "cut her out".
And do you think you could get a bit more support from people at work with what you need to be doing there. Worth trying?? Even if it's only with a few things, just something to take the pressure off a bit.
Or even talking to your coworkers may help a bit, you might at least find some of them are finding things hard too. And even a little understanding/empathy might help just a bit?? At least until you're on track to looking for another job.
But for the rest of your time are you making time to be doing things that might help you? Whether that's finding a way to unwind from work/everything, finding time to do something you enjoy, finding time to just relax, finding time to do nothing, finding time to spend time with/contact people who are close to you/could be close to you...........
And any expectations you feel either from yourself or others maybe challenge those a bit, it should be a lot more about what you need right now.
And you know, if you need to check in with your doctor about the way you're feeling/check in with anyone, then try not to stop yourself from doing that. What you need is important!! How you feel is important!! No shelving it!! It matters!! And just keep reminding yourself that you matter!!!
Alison