I can relate to this. I too had thoughts of killing myself when I was 9… or at least that’s when I verbalised these thoughts to my parents. Had also been diagnosed with migraines from the age of 6… became manageable over time, my mum drummed mind over matter techniques into me as tablets didn’t do much… now I get the warning signs, and some of the symptoms (stiffness of neck, nausea etc) but not the pain.

Was not officially diagnosed as having depression until I was 16... but had mixed moments of withdrawing from everything/anger/anxiety for many years before.

Had a long period of my childhood that involved social isolation both at home and at school, had to rely very much on self sufficiency and yeah it took it’s toll.

It’s only recently that a T has identified trauma as having a direct impact on my depression, anxiety… and primarily ‘core beliefs’. Going to be tackling this in a month apparently.