I'm sorry you are suffering so much. We all vent at times and just need to know somebody out there hears us and cares.

I've been battling these feelings for 30 years and every once in a while I have gotten lucky and had spaces of relief from the pain. They never last long enough.

You are not worthless, everyone has worth. And never worry about whinning here. It's here for us to let our feelings out.