I understand how you feel. I've been there where I give my all to others out of love and it seems like its not appreciated. You seem like such a good sweet person. I also know how arthritis pain is being I suffer with it too. I have days I ask God why am I still here. Know that we love you here and we care about you. Don't give up. You are not useless, you sound like a very good person. Hang in there.