I've been in the same spot... I can relate a lot to what you're saying. I also drink way too much and I would advise not to let yourself become an alcoholic... I understand the urge to get drunk to avoid problems more than most and if you can stop yourself from going down that path please try to...

Maybe you're not ready for commitment and/or you don't feel the relationship is what you want forever. Either that you or are just having a really hard time independent from that and it's affecting how you feel about your relationship. Hopefully you can decide which. Devastatingly powerful grizzly bear hugs too you... good luck