I'm not diagnosed with AvPD either, but I relate strongly to at least some of the symptoms. The Japanese concept "Hikikomori" resonates, too.

It's like ...

You want to be "more" but don't know how;
There's a feeling that you can be "either/or" in the world, you have to almost choose between different aspects of yourself and yet feel you are "both/and", It's somehow politically incorrect to just be your whole self;
It's like the inferiority complex from hell;
"Reality is where your dreams go to die";
It's a maddening itch that you can never, ever quite scratch;
You've buried or lost something you NEED in order to be fully functional;
It's like hoping to "win at life" yet feeling like you're in a big card game with a crappy losing hand and this terrifies you.

There is a lot of hesitation, holding back, submissive behavior, wanting to take risks and yet somehow "never getting around to it", and inability to fend off criticism not because you can't take it, but because you keep obsessing over whether it might in fact be true, no matter how logically absurd it is!

I'm getting really angry just thinking about this, because I can't seem to just chill out and make it STOP!!!! I hate it!!! I read that one person with AvPD stopped in the middle of therapy and said "I'm not showing up for my own life!". YES!!! I totally get that.