Im at the end of the rope. I'm trying my best and I let him get the best of me again. I can't even speak to him without having to maneuver out of his loaded manipulation of words. I can't walk away without him verbally attacking me. Sometimes I attack back and others I ignore and walk away. Either way I am miserable.
There's a back story that's too long but as soon as I got home after work, while trying to deal with his behavioral issues and school administration simultaneously,I am bombarded. (he knows the best time to catch me with my guard weakened) it continued through the night as we try to get through dinner and homework. My son has add/OCD btw.

So I finally lost it. I could feel it boiling and part of me told myself not to say it and I just boiled over anyway. And I repeated it. I know it just gave him some satisfaction to hear me so angry. Thats his thing... and i havent broken the cycle yet.
And then when im done and away from him, I crumble in shame but I'm still so angry. I've never said that before. How do I bounce back from this? What do I even say at this point. Do I just ignore him for a while?