Sometimes what helps me most is when people just sit with me without expecting a long conversation. It's difficult for me to stay concentrated for a long time. Sometimes light conversation is good, and the deeper stuff needs to have a definite ending at some point, but I am not good at setting these boundaries. I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings so I usually keep talking.

What is good to say are mostly things that reassure me that someone is here, that I am not alone.

It's strange, usually when I write these emails, I get loads of replies back. Today I got no email reply from my list and three replies on here. Not that I am writing these emails for people to reply but I like the dialogue and it helps me feel connected.
But today, out of 103 emails sent, I got no reply at all.
It made me wonder if people just don't know what to say, and that made me feel really alone.

When I write something that is more humorous and lighthearted, I get tons of replies. Today, when I wrote about something that is so real for me and so painful, there was almost no response whatsoever. That really makes me wonder if I have a completely wrong expectation or desire. If I can't share the reason why I am writing these emails, if this part (the most important part) of the journey causes everyone to go silent, then that really hurts.

So the question what is good to say is a really good one! There is nothing anyone can do, but there is a lot people can say that make me feel I am still part of this life, part of this world. Including me in everyday talks is as important as letting me talk about my fears. Laughing with me crying with me, sharing my fears and joys equally.. as long as it's not all talk about what happens at the funeral or who to invite or who I have put in my will... And lately that seems the going topic here. There is too little NOW and too much THEN.

The more THEN it is the more I feel lonely in the now.

Thank you for your reply it made me feel better after a day of feeling rather lonely!

Much love,
A