I know.. I was silly thinking I could go without a mood stabiliser - it really helped being on it (of course) but I went off ages ago thinking it was pushing me down (mistaking irritability for a low, I think). Part of the problem could also be that when I was depressed for a few months up until about 3 or 4 weeks ago, I tried doubling the anti-depressant without talking to anyone about it :/ and that's when my husband noticed I was becoming a person who wasn't very nice... and bam. I went back to the original dose but things went pretty baaad from there...I'm done messing with meds - I've learnt my lesson! Pdoc only. But I figured I probably needed to come somewhere where I could be open with others who understand and be encouraged to keep going - that's why I'm here