You're not the only one. I'm sick and tired of being like this, too. That's why I came to this forum in the first place - I was out of control and had come back to reality only to realise how badly I had been treating my husband/family. I was TERRIBLE. It's going to take a while for my husband in particular to heal from some of the things I said/did. I don't really know what works for me yet, I need to work on controlling myself in those situations.. But hey, I'm here if you ever need to talk to someone about it, too. It helps to have people to talk to in those times (sometimes I just want to rip their heads off, but y'know...)