I can totally relate to what you say about drinking initially feeling like it improves your mood.....but you are right, in the end as I said it does just magnify and make things worse. I am glad to hear that you will try to address it with therapy.

My goal was not to never drink again, mine was and still is.....I ma not drinking right now. If I feel like a drink I ask myself a simple question. Am I wanting a drink to feel better? If this is the case, then it will never be the right time to drink. And so, for now, I am a non drinker. It made it not feel so hard for me in the beginning......because thinking of something as forever can be pretty daunting!

Volunteering sounds like a great idea! An awesome way to begin to feel worthwhile, to build your self esteem, by giving something back. And youmay make new and lovely friends...who knows. I volunteered as an adult literacy tutor when I wasn't working or at uni, it was great.

Take care of yourself