I think it's better for you to go to the appointment. I really think it's needed! Also about there being blood...that's happened to me before. It would happen almost every time. Yeah, it's damaging, and can sooner or later do LOTS of damage. I know it's hard to avoid these thoughts and behaviors of our when we're stressed so much. I think that I'm getting closer to purging again. Right now I'm thinking more about weight, but things could change. Okay, so you purged. Go the the appointment and tell your T that it happened. Tell you T how bad life feels. It would be hard to just wake up one day and stop purging and have healthy habits forever from that point on. It takes time. You slipped up. It happens. It's part of progress. Now, will you go to your appointment?