Amelia, I read all of your posts even when I am not responding much. This has been a tough week, and your post yesterday really brought back memories of my dad's last week. I know he struggled with trying to get my mother to address anything serious with him. Up until two days before he died, she was still talking about "when" he got better, he needed to do X, Y, or Z around the house. He and I, and he and my older sister, talked about things both serious and light and just hung out together in silence. My younger sister and my mother would quite literally shush him or walk out of the room when he tried to talk to them about his impending death. I think one of the things that really helped my dad was when the parish priest came over and just sat and talked with him. The priest was the first person to ask my dad if he was afraid. It was the first time I heard my dad express fear. We gave them some privacy to talk after that, and my dad seemed calmer and more at peace after that talk. We had one relative who came over and kept pestering my dad over and over about what he was thinking or feeling, until my dad, in a funny way, told him it was none of his business.

Not sure what my point is. Just maybe that every person handles the situation differently and most of us were doing the best we could, and none of us (well, at least the somewhat emotionally healthy among us) minded when my dad set limits and told us what he needed or wanted from us. I hope you can speak up for yourself and set some limits you are comfortable with. Take care of you, Amelia. Much love to you.