I'm so sorry you're in such pain. I'm experiencing the same thing--not wanting to believe it ever happened. I don't want to verbalize it at all. I have my T appt next week and I'm dreading having to tell him the whole story. I emailed to him last week to tell him that I wanted to talk about it, but now I'm not too sure. I've been told that it is better to face the monster rather than run away from it, so that's what I'm going to do.

Once you begin to heal you may have your meds cut back or even eliminated. And about the extra year in college, I'm a fair bit older than you and know what I'm saying when I tell you that the extra year won't matter in the long run. With all your personal experience you could be an excellent therapist, but in order to do so you have to face your monster and heal.