Thanks, Hellion. Yeah, I had put in an app already for Medicaid because of the Obamacare stuff, and when I didn't hear back from them - the above symptoms caused me to not follow up. If I could have mental health help that way, that is hopeful.

I think hope has a lot to do with it. I feel truly hopeless, without a chance of anything ever getting better. Another internal voice is always saying "What's the point, why bother, it'll just turn out bad anyway."..... along with another one that says I'm being "uppity" (and it's not a race thing, but that is the word that comes, I'm white) to do anything positive for myself. And THAT voice I KNOW has to be tapes from life history.

If you ever want to talk about the bill stuff, I've got experience with that. Unfortunately the debts don't EVER get erased, except via bankruptcy. What you might be thinking is the way negatives fall off your credit report over time and/or various statutes of limitation as to a creditors ability to collect via lawsuit.

By the way, NEVER acknowledge the debt in any way if called by a collector. Respond to them as if it truly is not yours and you have no idea what they are talking about. That will protect your legal rights down the road.

Thanks again for the Medicaid thought.