Your thread title so resonates with me. I can hear my mother telling me that she didnt have this, she didnt have that. I even asked her once, how did she expect me to feel when she said she wanted something i had now? She told me she expected it to make me feel good - that she feels good when somebody envies something she has. I said - but youre me mother - it just makes me feel bad for having it, and that i should give it over to you! But she wasnt even listening any more. So think of whose voice it actually is that says youre too much trouble - i dont think its yours, i think its the family's. Why shouldnt we take care of ourself? Other people take care of themselves. Im trying to understand it myself!