Quote:
Originally Posted by ace333
any time we are around each other i do make the effect by showing him attention and affection, and he'll pull away saying im being weird or clingy, whihc in turn upsets me more. i would like to be married but at the same time in not in a rush to just get married right this second.
but i honestly think him seeing all his friends getting married and having kids is putting pressure and pushing him extremely slowly in the right direction, he'll openly talk about it when his friends are around, but then silence when it is just he an i, or i get the odd out of nowhere " when we/i have a wedding it'll be like this..."
the biggest compliant i have is just how he he seems to be out of the honeymoon stage of our relationship, but im not. its very irritating at time when im told im being weird or annoying when i do things he used to be all about me doing for him
and just to add a little to the story pretty recently we did break up for about a month, he kept talking to me and wanting to see me, but it was causing my depression to be worse, so i flat out one day told him look if were not getting back together i can't be your friend and i can't talk to you anymore at all.....so he literally turns around minutes later and says he wants me back but to take things slow...within minutes of that he was telling me how much he loved me and missed me and only wants to be with me??? it was very strange so im not sure how to really take what he says to heart, like days he says he doesn't want to get married but then turn around and openly talks about it to his friends....hes a huge flip flopper and its very annoying at times and its a big reason i feel neglected
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ace333 i can see the red flags from a mile away, you guys have some underlying problems in your relationship that need to be addressed.the fact that when you attempt to show him affection he pulls away and says you are being "weird" or "clingy" is not normal.
let me ask you..has he always been like this?
how long has this been going on?
what in your relationship has changed?
apparently the two of you are not speaking the same "love language".
there was a poster on here who had a real good post on that a while back.
i would search and find it and it has an excellent link, it would do you some good to look into it.
again i cannot stress enough you want to get married for the right reasons not the wrong ones, in a previous post i mentioned the right reasons to get marrried, now i will do you the service of listing the wrong reasons.
1) because other people are doing it
2) because of pressure from friends or family
3) because of any legal or financial benefit
4) because of "security"
5) because you don't want to be alone
6) because "it feels right"
these reasons 99 out of 100 times will lead to either
a) an unhapy marriage or
b) a divorce.
these are all terrible reasons to get married and yet people continue to make the same mistakes every day.
the divorce rate in the united states is a whopping 50%, that is horrible.
take my advice, work out your problems with this man, be patient,
and make sure you guys do it right so you don't become a statistic.
most of all of my guy friends are married and are miserable, don't get me wrong.
marriage is a wonderful institution..it just needs to be done right.
they like to joke with me and tell me i was smart by not getting married, i inform them and correct them..it's not that i am smart, and i do plan to get married someday,
but when i do..i'm doing it right..me and the lucky lady are going to be on the same page about everything. no outside pressure, no crazy reasons to get married, we will be of one accord as simple as that..i'm patient..i can wait.
and my friend so can you...i hope this helps and i wish you luck in your situation
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I have learned that i and i alone am responsible for my happiness, most people these days are as reliable as wet toilet paper!
