I completely understand! My husband didn't fully understand the diagnosis at first, but he was still there for me. About a month after being diagnosed, I was hospitalized a couple hours away from where I live...it was the first place that got back to the county mental health clinic the sheriffs took me. He brought my son to visit me along with my parents, and then turned around the next day to get me and take me home, after working all day. He has read up and done research to understand what is going on with me. We've had our ups and downs, been close to divorce a couple times, but he has always loved me through all of it. When I get angry and yell and scream at the kids, he will take over so I can just shut down and not be involved in what they're doing at the moment. He takes care of the house and the family when I'm too depressed to get out of bed. I feel like I'm so indebted to him, and there's nothing I could ever do to repay him. And to make me even more of a jerk, I only want to have sex with him about every month or two...thank you Geodon. I also have a hard time saying I love you to him and showing him any kind of affection or loving emotion.