Quote:
Originally Posted by AmysJourney
"But yesterday my day was silent. It felt like all the voices had stopped, all the dialogue died down. And that on a day when I could have used support the most. When I needed someone to tell me that my anger was justified. But the silence seemed to reinforce that apparently I wasn't right in my feelings, that I indeed expected too much.
I thought about it a lot last night. I fought with myself, against the feeling of disappointment, the feeling of loneliness. I felt I had no right to feel lonely because I have people here who love me, right? And I shouldn't be disappointed because of course I don't write these emails to always get many responses.
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I was thinking the other day that your daily journey and the input from others outside psychcentral demonstrates the amazing capacity of social media/internet to bring individuals together. I've been on psychcentral a long time and have found it to be really supportive at times when I've not had anyone I could talk to in person. So I'm sorry you felt hurt and disappointed and perhaps abandoned with your pain. I can relate to how much that can hurt, especially reaching out and feeling as though no one is reaching back.
I wonder about how you battled against your feelings of hurt and the fear that you don't have the right to feel that way when you know you're loved. Although completely different from your circumstances, I can relate to those feelings of knowing in my head one thing but my heart another and how hard it is to connect the two sometimes.
It is hard to hear that you are in pain and perhaps the lack of words from others signifies that they feel nothing they say can really express the depth of how they feel. I'm not a big fan of words myself (despite how many I use!)...but as a writer you have the ability to conjure them in ways I lack!
Quote:
Originally Posted by tametc
Amelia, I wanted to say hello and send you my love today.  I'll tell you a little story about my dog. |
Loved your story!