Want2want...do you have any friends you like to see occasionally? I find the only reason I shower somedays is so I can see my one "real live" friend and not scare her away with my stentch I know exactly how you are feeling. I do not "help" myself either. I watch TV and stay on the Internet most days. I don't think that helps either of us, but like you said, we have the "why bother" mentality. I've been taking medication and seeing docs since I was 15...I'm now 33, and my happiness is always fleeting. I find mine is tied to my interactions with other people and I'm not sure how normal that is. Maybe I have dependent PD? anyway, you have a friend here to talk to if you want. Hugs