I think it is great that you are trying to get more out of your sexual relationship with your man. I think that you need to sit down and have a talk with him and be as serious as you can, and be open about how much you want this.

I can relate with you I am a Sexual Abuse survivor as well. I am bi-sexual so when me and my wife are having sex she will sometimes use a strap-on on me and I absolutely love to me dominated by her when we are doing that. I don't know if this has anything to do with the sexual abuse but when I am dominated by her it is like I lose all self control and nothing else in the world matters at that moment.

Like I said just be open and honest with your hubby, maybe get him some books and articles about how to start...