Thanks Talulah. I would love to be able to share these thoughts with my T but I won't - I would be so afraid that he would tell me that I am way to needy and to stop. I have always been very self reliant and this whole phase in my life is just about killing me. I think he knows that I hate being needy. He always tells me that I need to ask for help. Last week I did ask someone for some help and they were able to help me. When I told my T about it - he was very happy that I had actually asked for help and told me so and then said to me but you hate asking for the help and hate receiving the help don't you, of course I told him that he was absolutely right. I think he knows me fairly well. He has never done anything to make me feel rejected but I am just waiting for the day he says that he doesn't want to do this anymore. Ugh!!!