I'm really sorry you were so upset to do this to yourself. I know what it's like...the hurt, the pain, nothing helps to numb you but to physically harm yourself.

I suffered from self-mutilation for about 10 years since I was 13, with sometimes months lapses in between. I've been straight from it for 5, and I know it's a hard behavior to kick. I have numerous scars on my arms to show for it, and have endured constant questions I could never answer.

Sometimes, if you feel you can't stop it, make sure you are careful or you could go into shock from bloodloss, and risk infection and tetanus. Make sure that you get shots to avoid this from happening. I would also use butterfly strips which you can find near the baidaids in most pharmacy stores. These hold a cut together so it doesn't spread open and produces a smaller scar. You can also find scar cream there, which helps reduce their appearance.

I hope you are okay, if you ever cut too deeply you might need to go to a hospital. Better to be safe than risk further injury or worse. Remember, as much as it hurts inside now, scars last forever.

Best wishes and *hugs* <3