I have a sex drive. I masturbate. But I have no desire to have sex with another person. I have been molested as a child and raped a couple months ago and I consider sex to be universally negative. Where males are involved even flirting with me is repulsive. I don't want a sexless relationship when I love someone. But I also feel like no matter what if I had sex it would ruin the relationship for me.
I don't know if I'm asexual or scared. I just know I have no interest in sex. Even fantasies about it are completely unappealing.
So am I asexual?