I have been struggling with my sexuality for a while, first I thought bisexual, next I thought lesbian, but I really just don't know, all I know is that I am just not straight. (I guess that's what queer is, but I'm not sure exactly)

Basically I like both men and women, but I am more drawn towards having a relationship with a woman rather than a man. I've had crushes on guys, but whenever they show possible signs of liking me back, I run in the other direction and pretend those feelings never happened or they just never liked me back and I didn't really care and got over it.

But if I see a girl out in public and she's eyeing me and I'm eyeing her and we're both exchanging smiles, I feel like I should go talk to them, but of course, since I'm only 17 and under the roof of homophobic parents, it's probably not the best idea in terms of actually having a roof over my head and having support from them, not knowing that I am not straight.

Whenever my mum says "one day you'll get married to a guy, have kids, etc..." I get a little irritated, because it's not what I want. I don't want kids, I hate the idea of pregnancy and squeezing a baby out under hours of (most likely) painful labour and I'd rather marry a woman even though it's illegal in most of Australia (no thanks to Tony Abbot).

All I dream about is being with a woman and when I dream about being with a guy it doesn't feel right, even if I find them attractive.

I know I shouldn't stress with labels, but I can't help it.