Well I stopped my meds last week to see what would happen. I've been hypo manic the last few days but I feel a real manic episode coming on. Here it is 0330 and I'm wide awake. I just came inside from cutting the grass in the dark. I went to my pdoc yesterday and he told me that I needed to take my meds. I was feeling pretty good and I told him so but he reminded me about the last time I stopped meds and ended up in the hospital. So I went home and took my Geodon. I took my meds at 2200 and went to bed but I've got a million things floating around in my head and I couldn't sleep. I got up and did some laundry and cleaned the bathrooms and the kitchen. I went out and cut the grass. I'm still wired so I just took 3 mg Ativan and 10 mg zyprexa. Hopefully it will kick in soon so I can get some sleep. I've got to work today. My pdoc thinks I should take some time off work and get myself together but I can't afford to. I'm trying to save my vacation time until august so I can take off when my daughter has her baby. I only have 3 more sessions with my pdoc before he retires. I'm stressed about that. I have an appointment in 2 weeks with a new pdoc that he recommended. I really hope that works out. Sorry for the long post . I wish I had someone I could call at this time of night to talk to. I don't have but one close friend and I'm sure she doesn't want to hear from me at 0400. I could wake my husband up but he has to work in a few hours so I should let him sleep. WHy oh why didn't I listen to everyone who told me not to stop my meds ?