I am really upset right now. About a lot of things. It seems like nothing is going right. I have no one to talk to. That's my only healthy coping skill that works. So I'm just so angry. And who do I want to hurt? Everyone who makes me feel like crap? Well sometimes but mostly me. When I get upset my first response isn't even a thought i automatically hit myself or scratch myself. Just a bit. Then I catch myself and I kind of freeze and don't know what to do. Usually I end up crying myself to sleep. But then I wake up the next day still just as anxious and depressed and hurt and angry and nothing helps. I don't even know what to do anymore. Everything is a temporary fix. A tiny distraction til I'm back to dealing with all these emotions that I can't handle that for some reason I never learned how to deal with and I can't talk it through with anyone because the person I could talk to abandoned me and I feel like a burden to everyone so I need a therapist but my parents won't get me one and I can't afford one and getting a free counselor still makes me feel like a burden because I'm not paying. I don't want to commit suicide or anything buy I don't want to be alive either. So I'm stuck. Quite possible forever. I'm not entirely sure this counts as living.