It never to late to get better. I know because I have been at the bottom of the well with what I thought there was no way out, but the doctors got me better. I've been inpatient twice for suicide ideation and once in Intentive Out Patient because I was having thoughts of diving off bridges. I uses to cut to, with the help of my therapist I broke the habit. Doesn't mean I don't still think about it at times and have to work not to fall into old habits.

I'm like you, I don't really want to die, but I don't want to live either. My daughter is the only thing that has kept me going.

Don't give up on yourself, your kids love you and without you they would be devastated.

HOpe you feel better soon.