Exactly...it can be very difficult, and I do get afraid I will cause harm to myself when alone sometimes because just not sure how far my own thoughts will go without being distracted and interrupted with other people being around. On the brightside there are cats at my house so I wasn't entirely alone and cats at least in my experience make a point to demand attention and/or just start acting really cute making it harder for me to think about bad stuff...

But yeah even today still seems like a daunting task to keep going, just don't know if its worth it...but yeah best I can do is watch my mood/thoughts and if it escalates too much I can always go to the ER and be sent to a psych ward...but hopefully it doesn't get to that point again.