I agree, you are very much worthy of love! I too am a girl with scars, and over 10 years of SI behind me. I found someone who does understand and loves me for who I am, and I am sure you have people who care about you too. Sometimes as hard as it is the best thing you can do is tell someone. Someone who can talk you down and help you find treatment.

If it is as bad as you say, you may need to go to urgent care, or find a clinic where you can be away from your current situation and the things that make you want to cause harm to yourself. Throw all your tools away so that you can't even be tempted. Write your thoughts down in a journal to get out all that emotion that builds inside you.

As hard as it is, you need to tell someone how bad it is for you, so they can help you get the assistance you need. Waiting for a psychologist might not be for the best, especially if you're at a point where it's the worst it's been. You do need to speak with a professional, but the longer the wait is, the more tough it might become.

I went to the hospital after my mom found out about my cuts. They stitched me up but even though the ladies there didn't understand, I conveyed I needed help and was admitted to a youth clinic where I was on watch. Being unable to hurt myself on a strict watch and in an environment with my peers I finally was able to get the help I needed.

I hope that you are okay, and know that you can stop, you are worthy of love and you don't deserve to hurt. Take care, *hugs*