I am dreading mother's day. It is the first one without my mom. We struggled in our relationship also. For a long time I would say it was tumultuous. I worked a lot on our relationship in therapy before she died. There are still things left unsaid and things that she said that were hurtful. I still love her though. This mother's day we are putting flowers on her grave. I would usually look for the humorous cards because the sentimental ones just didn't fit our relationship.