I'm sorry as that sounds excruciatingly difficult. I wish she would have spoken to you about it - especially since she just no showed you and then texted. And it sounds like you had been seeing her for a long time. I would strongly advise you to find someone else to process it with and get some closure. Anger is so very difficult to deal with and I find even just the feelings themselves can make many therapists uncomfortable. Because you crossed the line to physically acting out it makes it harder but I understand. I've been struggling with anger too. Underneath the rage is probably an overwhelming amount of hurt and grief