I'm dreading Mother's Day. I want to stay in bed all day with the curtain closed and just be alone but not sure it's a good idea to behave that way in front of my kids. Their expectation is that I'll be ready to have some fun and hang out, but fun isn't something I'm capable of any more, it seems. I am sick of going through the motions, basically pretending that I'm ok in order to suit other peoples' needs. It's exhausting. I'm not ok, not having fun, not feeling like doing ANYTHING but curling up in a ball indefinitely. Ugh. I can behave like a hermit when they're at school during the days or in the evenings when they're doing homework, but not on weekends. By Monday I'm always exhausted and overwhelmed from having to behave "normally" during the weekend so they don't know how depressed I am. And what the heck am I going to do this summer?? I'm dreading not being alone, not having solitude for at least a few hours each day. I love my kids, but I just want to be alone and keep my sad self away from them so they don't suffer as a result of being around my depressed self. How do depressed people with kids protect them from seeing a depressed parent? As someone whose mom was depressed/anorexic/addicted to pain killers, I suffered tremendously from decades of watching her self-destruct. How do I make sure my kids don't go through the same thing with me? They're old enough to notice when I'm sad and they try to make me feel better but I don't want to put them in the position of worrying about me or of feeling like it's on them to make me feel better. I feel awful and I don't know what to do. Mother's Day is upon us and I'm feeling absolutely miserable.