I was diagnosed only a little over two years ago, and it took me most of that time to come to full acceptance of my reality, even though looking back, the signs have been there since I was very young. When I was first diagnosed, I felt like I was walking around with a huge "Bipolar" sticker plastered across my forehead; I was the only person I knew at the time with the disorder and it was a VERY lonely place to be.

There was a distinct grieving period for the person I'd thought I was. There also was a time when I believed the diagnosis was wrong, and for this I was rewarded with a one-two punch of mania and depression that nearly landed me in the hospital. I didn't really come to understand the permanence of BP until recently, and strangely enough it was when I realized I will likely never come off anti-psychotics (let alone the other meds I take) that I finally got it through my thick skull that I'll be dealing with this for the rest of my days.

That "a-ha!" moment is different for everyone. Welcome to PC, where you'll find help and support from people who know what you're going through. I hope your transition through this difficult period will be short and gentle.