So I explained my views on power and powerlessness. And I read the rest of your post.
A year and a half is a long time. That is quite an accomplishment. I am not suggesting this is the case at all because I do not know but I will point out that relationships can be addictive as well. Substance addictions can be switched to behavioral addictions. It happens in AA all the time. People stay clean and sober but they become workaholics, addicted to gambling, sex addiction, love addiction, and all kinds of things. It is really hard for addicts to give up all addictions or to not cross addict. It depends on how much they effect your life and how hard you are working on getting rid of them and on personal growth and so on. Are you moving in the right direction or the wrong direction. I am still addicted to cigarettes. I used to be addicted to gaming for about five years in recovery. I can get borderline addicted to this damn computer. Golf, Photography etc. I think I have done very well and worked very hard as far as addictions go but I do have to watch the behavioral ones. My main issue is depression. There are many in AA that have been clean and sober a long time but are actually much sicker than before they came it. So we also have to consider behavioral addictions.
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In my hardcore drinking days i have blacked out many times, i have 3 dui's
i have totaled many cars( thankfully i walked away from all of the accidents)
countless tickets and court dates, strained relationships and more, so to
elaborate further i never let the liquor run out because i always bought half gallons ( hee hee it would be impossible for me to drink a half gallon in a day!). and i still buy like that now, today i'm not drinking..yesterday i did.
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It is not my business at all to call you an alcoholic. But do you think all those items might qualify you?
You say you started drinking again but it is moderate or controlled. Are there any other substances you may be addicted to or are abusing at the current time?
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alcohol,drugs and the like are just a symptom of a bigger problem, an inability to make proper choices for oneself
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I would agree. I would say alcohol and drug abuse are symptoms of addiction. You say it is an inability to make proper choices for oneself. That sure seems to be true, but why do they have that inability? What is the underlying problem as to why they have an inability to make proper choices? An inability implies powerlessness. I don't think it is as simple as choosing to walk away. It is much more complicated than that. Maybe some can do it. Like I said my dad did it and I know he was an alcoholic. I don't understand it. In my experience he is the exception and not the rule. If you can do it more power to you. Today I am actually glad I couldn't do it on my own.
I know I asked some personal questions and I do not mean to offend at all. Really I don't. You are free to ask me any personal questions you like and I will be honest with you. Honest open dialogue is a healthy thing as long as we are not throwing stones at each other. I enjoy our discussion and it benefits me.