Hi UCLA --

I'm sorry to hear that you haven't been feeling well for a long time. Quite a few people here have chronic illnesses, some quite severe. I am lucky that mine is only debilitating in annoying ways, rather than really painful and incapacitating.

I think a lot of people run into the problem you mention when we try to establish boundaries with people who are used to walking all over us. I worked with a therapist to learn a few techniques. The first time I told my mother that her belittling remarks were not helpful and I would have to hang up, she hung up on me.

But even though she's in her 80s, she caught on fast. In fact, I'm better friends with my mother now than I have ever been in my whole life.

It doesn't always work out that well for people, but the important thing is that you are establishing boundaries and taking care of yourself.

Good for you. Keep going.