Hi Smilie --

I'm not sure what you mean by enmeshment?

Are you looking for a really close best friend? Or an intimate partner?

Are you saying that you are unable to feel close to other people? Or that you don't know what behaviors are required to begin and deepen a friendship? Or intimate relationship?

I'm sorry that you're feeling confused. But you are reaching out here, and that's a start. Good for you.