I have been reading up a lot on it. My mother and I both had the "That explains a lot" reaction. While it explains many things as a child, teenager, and now I do feel a sense of anger. When I was 19 years old I was in and out of a mental health crisis center several times until just before I turned 21. I remember drs and clinicians telling me they thought I was Bipolar but they didn't want to label me at such a young age with such a heavy diagnosis. Instead they diagnosed me with Borderline Personality Disorder. If they had done their job right the first time would I be better now?
Now I've been working with my current therapist for 5yrs now. When I first started seeing her she didn't feel I had BPD. Instead about a year and a half ago she strongly believed I was ADHD. But still while taking Ritalin I didn't feel right. About three months ago I started going downhill rather quickly. And that's when she started discussing Bipolar. Again I felt anger. If someone had noticed it sooner how would I be today.
I guess I should be grateful that finally I got the right diagnosis and care and I'm starting to feel differently in a positive way. But still 11yrs of my life that I'll never get back.....
Thank you everyone for your kind support. I feel this will be a great place for me.