This friend of yours has problems that go beyond being "*****y." I'm convinced of that, and and I haven't known her for 20 years. So I'm led to the suspicion that you tend to minimize things, until an explosion occurs. You may have a wonderful capacity for tolerance that I can even admire. Your boyfriend, however, may see this as an incompatibility between the two of you.

I understand you want to know where you go from here to preserve this relationship. Saying the friendship is "away" may be appropriate for making your own life better. I've not heard that expression before. It's not wrong to have friends who are mentally disturbed. It's just necessary to know how close to let them get to others in your life. At this point, I believe your guy is not worried about that particular friend. He is worried what other friends you might have, or make in the future. He is worried about your judgement regarding people. That's not something you can apply a quick fix to.

It's easy to say, "I'll dump this friendship for a relationship I care about." That's "quick-fix" thinking. If this gal is over there in Ireland, I don't see where she is much of a threat to your boyfriend's peace and tranquility. He's more worried about the nature of your relationships in general.

You talk about this girls behavior violating your "boundaries." How so? Not everything that is wrong with people is a boundary issue. That's just a hot bit of terminology that is very trendy to talk about at the moment. This girl became upset about you and your guy at the wedding. Yet you followed her home to her house. You crossed over past her boundaries. If someone is acting nuts, you don't go home to spend the night at their place. It's like you need things to go completely berserk, before you catch a clue that something is wrong. You may be a very blessed person who is not given to becoming over-sensitive about how people act toward you. That can be a great gift in its own way. I wish I was more like that. The downside, though, is that you may tend to remain a bit oblivious to stuff. That can be good too. But it may be what makes you very different from your guy. After only 6 months, you two have still got a lot to learn about each other. That is what has just happened.

This is not to say that the relationship is doomed, or that you have to remake yourself. Try getting your boyfriend to talk with you, and remember not to become defensive. Float these ideas by him, and see what he says. You can't change who you are. However, you may be able to have more insight into who you are and how that is troubling your guy. Sometimes, just being able to see what is bothering someone can go a long way toward helping them to get over it.