Sometimes it is harder for the loved ones. It took my husband a long time to convince me to go to therapy. It took me even longer to be able to create a list of safe things for him to do to comfort me. I did actually make a list.

The most important thing he learned is to say "what can I do to help you". When your husband is in a stable frame of mind it might be good to ask him what makes him feels safe. When he has an episode you can refer back to the list and it will take the pressure off of you to come up with the right thing off the top of your head.