It sounds possible... maybe she just has some emotional walls put up as a result of her life and doesn't necessarily have schizoid or another disorder though. My mom is much that same way and it definitely impacted my life negatively... I'm sorry you had to go through that because I know it's really tough to have a mom that is emotionally cold and distant... I know my mom did her best and she's a good person - I don't hold it against her or resent her at all or anything, but it's hard to be a child in that situation.

She could have been born that way to some extent too. Maybe she has some aspergers-like qualities that make it tough for her to connect with people, or maybe it's all just defense mechanisms that result from her life and are entrenched in her personality.

I feel like I mention this concept a lot on here (I did to someone else earlier today) but you might find alexithymia interesting to look into. There is a good wikipedia article on it and other info online. It sounds like you might find it useful to consider in regards to her.

But it sounds plausible that she could be schizoid maybe (or like just schizoid-ish without actually having a PD). Or she could have some asperger's traits maybe, even if she doesn't have aspergers. The odd/quirkiness, social situations being exhausting, hard time connecting emotionally, stubbornness/rigidity, being a chemist, would fit into that as well (maybe not the graceful and articulate part though, hehe). That's kind of a leap though I guess...

She sounds like a good woman, though... maybe she is a little schizoid or a little aspergery or a bit of both. Or maybe she was born introverted with solitary tendencies and also went through a lot of crap in her life that has accentuated these traits and caused her to shut out emotions.

Anyways just throwing out ideas. Read the wikipedia article about alexithymia if you feel like it - it isn't a disorder but it sounds like she might fall into that category. Not sure if that's helpful but as I said my mom is similar in a lot of ways and it was tough for me growing up so I definitely can relate from that standpoint... she's not overly polite and hospitable though unfortunately