((((Mija))))
You are NOT worthless. You are worth SO much more than you can ever realize. Don't ever let anyone else determine your worth. Especially not some sexually abusive demon from your past.
My dear, your post is not pathetic. And yes, there are people who have had worse...but those people have nothing to do with you and your healing. Life is not a competition to see who has had it worse off. And you will never be able to work through this if you don't accept that working through this is the only way to move past it.
My friend, you are strong enough to work through this. But you are not going to be able to work through it on your own. I'd suggest getting a t again, sooner than later. He/she should be able to help a lot.
So stop denying yourself credibility, mija! And don't you be comparing yourself to other people.