There must be something you would miss... even if it's something mundane like drinking a cup of coffee in the morning, or taking a hot shower, or taking a nap in the afternoon with the windows open, or something... I'm not trying to be a cheery asshole and invalidate your feelings either like "all the little things are so great!!" but there must be a couple things you'd miss...

You're lucky you live in such a beautiful place at least (don't know if it's close to you at all but I spent a couple weeks in Haines AK once). I live in the ****ing midwest and it sucks. Maybe not helpful advice but I wish I was in alaska right now. Especially since you're getting a reasonable amount of daylight now (I can imagine the dark winter being pretty rough for depressed people like us). It must be beautiful in AK right about this time as spring starts, plus I would want to hunt for morel mushrooms and eat the **** out of em.

I know nothing I said here is very helpful because I know the feeling you are describing and semi-cheerful crap doesn't help much. At least know there is a reclusive, pathetic **** in the American Midwest who feels similarly...

Take care man, I hope you feel a little better soon... maybe you can see a doctor for SSRI's if you don't already. They never fixed all my problems or made me actually "happy" but they certainly have made life more manageable for me to where I can cope better and feel like what you're describing less often. Thanks for reading my babbling post, I don't talk to many people in real life so sometimes I like to babble to posters on here. Try to enjoy the alaskan spring if you can - most beautiful state in the USA.