Quote:
Originally Posted by athomealone5
firstly: Nothing is born or dies without the knowledge and direction of God.
Secondly: The only feelings in this life that you are resposible for are your own. What your parents did or didn't do has nothing to do with you, you weren't here to ask them to let you be born, so forget about it. If they are still togeather and hate each other and treat each other badly, that is not on you, that's on them. being involved in their trouble is not your role, you are an adult, you are responsible for yourself no one else. The way you feel, the way you live is all you, you get to make your own road to life, you choose, happy, unhappy, thats on you. If you are unhappy there are things you can do to change that. #1 Talk to someone that can help you figure out which of the things you are unhappy with that are your resposibilty, which are the ones you can change, which are the ones you shouldn't be bothered or stressed over. #2 Take on your own problems not everybody else's. #3 Talk to God, he is the great "I AM" that covers literally everything. Maybe your near death expericence was his call to you, showing how much at peace you would be if you followed him, maybe things have gone bitterly wrong because you have not taken him up on his offer of everlasting peace. I'm just saying.
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Thanks for that
. Yeah, I guess I am not as close to God as maybe I should be. I hear many people saying that I must choose happiness and everlasting life from God, but I don't understand what they mean. How do I "choose" it? How will I even know I'm receiving it? I don't feel any emotions anymore, I wouldn't even know if I was happy or not.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, that I just don't want anything anymore, I feel like I'm done with life. I am just an extremely abnormal person. All the things that make normal people's lives worth living doesn't make me happy (or won't have any effect on me emotionally). I'm just tired of living, I want to rest. I am totally mechanical in my life, I am a machine. I guess it's maybe from watching my parents fight so much - my mom was attacked when she expressed her feelings and my dad just couldn't deal with the criticism. That's where I learnt that if you show your emotions you get burned, so it's best to shut up. I know it sounds stupid, but I promise you, after 20 years of seeing that you begin to believe it in your heart and soul like a law.
I just don't see and understand like other people do. What does it mean to "choose" life over death? What does it mean to "choose" happiness. Just saying the words doesn't help. How have other people "chosen" it? What was their methodology? And, why does it come naturally to most people but not to me?
I'm sorry if I seem stupid, but maybe I just am. I'm just so confused and messed up in the head. It will probably take a lobotomy to fix me
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