Totally the Elephant in the Room!! I've been in psychodynamic therapy a year and Transference on my T is intense. But therapy is floundering because she never mentions feelings about her and has once explain that I need to be the good parent for my own Inner Child. Surely she knows about transference and the modern post-Freud way to treat it, but it never comes up.
The problem is about my inner child who forbids discussion of this for fear of being hurt. All my childhood, my relatives that raised me would yell at me "I'm not your !#&! mother!" It felt like a death sentence and I never got hardened to it. If T said that, I would just die on the spot!

So, I think I can bring this up with T by telling that story of what the relatives said to my inner child. It tells my feelings without directly relating to T, and then I will know what she thinks of me being dependent. Sneaky, yes, but I just have to know rather than go on with the open secret.

Maybe someone out there might find this inner child approach a way to get started, because you're not saying that You are scared, but the child in you is.