I'm sorry your having such a bad morning. Try to think positive thoughts and know for sure that the depression will one day lift. I don't know if your seeing a doctor or anything, or what happened that you don't want to go to the doctor and seek out a medication. I had to go through 5 doctors before I met mine and she has done so much for me, so I think it's something you should consider. Always strive and dream of reaching your goals and ambitions. More info would be helpful, so please write back.